Monday, August 15, 2011

'Shimmy to the left, shimmy to your death' - young adult horror

So midnight found me and a couple of friends smack in the middle of Independence Day celebrations - the ol' truckload of people hoisting flags, throwing maachis-bombs wherever they saw a rolled-down window.. one of them [sorry, Imran] even joined in on the 14th August Footloose in Jinnah Super.

That's where I thought hmm. A lot of these bystanders are making videos; what if one uploads them on YouTube and one of these bastards ends up on American reality TV? From the mind that really only should have been thinking 'Pakistan zindabaad' came:

Title of novel: 'Shimmy to the left, shimmy to your death'
Genre: Horror - young adult
Brief synopsis: As he dances in celebration of freedom on the streets of Islamabad, young Abed doesn't know he's being filmed. Two days later, he's an internet sensation; from zero to hero in just over a million YouTube views! When he gets a call from Ryan Murphy to be a guest star in one of his TV shows, little does he know he's booked a one-way ticket... to hell.
Storyboard below.

Status: Rejected: Random House sent the following message: '..reads like something Children of the Corn threw up.' Anderson Cooper has added draft to his 'RidicuList' and has called the League of the Silver-Haired Fox to go into state of apoplectic rage in protest of this shit.
Oh, and Ryan Murphy is not pleased.

Click to enlarge... if you DARE.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

'Privacy and other foolhardy notions' - a sci-fi ballad

I woke up one day with this title in my head, and the residue of a dream where Megan Fox was part of a burqa-brigade out to get me.

Also, after ignoring several invites from friends, re: Iftar party!/Hangout!/Fun, fun, fun!, the sinking realization that I am a certified hermit. From that dark mind came:

Title of novel: 'Privacy and other foolhardy notions'
Genre: Sci-fi, romance, tragedy
Brief synopsis: Hot model with big.. heart tires of her geeky boyfriend ['Big Bang Theory' hangover] and seeks the help of cyborg mercenary in a desperate bid for freedom. Little does she realize... said cyborg belongs to Islamic militant group.
Storyboard below.

Status: Rejected: HarperCollins sent the following message: ' for the author, perhaps someone should tell him the only privacy he's getting is in a straitjacket.' James Cameron is suing.

The greatest film adaptation you never saw.